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VetteWeekend
Webmaster
CCCUK PR
Location: Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea!
Joined: 23 Jun 2004
Posts: 2283
Age: 42
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Tue 01 May 12 17:41
Jokes - May 2012 
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Corvette Club PR.
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VetteWeekend
2005 to '12 - '75 Shark (on a shoestring)
2012 to ? - '91 ZR-1...For Fun! - The Return of Purple Haze!
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Bowler
Committee Member
Location: Birmingham
Joined: 07 Feb 2008
Posts: 668
Age: 52
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Tue 01 May 12 18:58
Re: Jokes - May 2012
Not exactly a joke, but I have posted this picture as something you may be interested in.
Now obviously, some may chose to use this as a caption competition.......
Last edited by Bowler on Tue 01 May 12 21:09; edited 1 time in total. [8 %]
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CCCUK Membership Secretary
The views expressed in my posts are personal to me and unless stated, do not represent the opinions of the CCCUK
2003 Euro Spec Electronic thingy....
2003 V6 Daily Barge - with 184k on it. Ticking along nicely
2012 Kia Sportage (her shopping cart)
With one V8 and one V6, I'm doing my bit to improve the Summers
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see six
Moderator
Location: Sedona, AZ
Joined: 30 Jan 2004
Posts: 1000
Age: 49
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Thu 03 May 12 05:20
Re: Jokes - May 2012
 
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Timon (EX '69 Stingray, C6 & 748) - CAMARO SS-RS & Triumph Speed Triple
A pint?! Make mine 6 litres ...
http://www.studio5.co
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roscobbc
Regional Rep
Wrap your ass in fibreglass (or carbon fibre)
Location: S W Essex
Joined: 03 Feb 2004
Posts: 3426
Age: 63
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Thu 03 May 12 08:58
Re: Jokes - May 2012
Buy a teddy from Hamleys and get a free 'Hampton'!
Get your hands off my 'dick' (er' mike!) - or is it get your hands off my mike you dick!
Wanna see my 'mike' amplify!
Last edited by roscobbc on Thu 03 May 12 08:59; edited 1 time in total. [19 %]
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'68 coupe - 4 speed - 3.08 - F41 - 489 cu in - 528 bhp @ 5850 rpm - 565 ft/lbs torque (766 Newton Metres) @ 3850 rpm - (225 bhp & 465 ft/lb Torque @ 2500 rpm)
Act like a juvenile before turning senile !
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Dippydog
Regular
Location: Aberdeenshire
Joined: 02 Apr 2012
Posts: 53
Age: 51
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Thu 10 May 12 11:06
Re: Jokes - May 2012 
One day a father finished work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it’s his daughter’s birthday. He pulls over to a toys shop and asks the salesperson, “How much for one of those Barbie’s in the display window?”. The sales person answers, “Which one do you mean sir? We have Work Out Barbie for £19.95. Shopping Barbie for £19.95, Beach Barbie for £19.95, Disco Barbie for £19.95, Ballerina Barbie for £19.95, Astronaut Barbie for £19.95, Skater Barbie for £19.95 and Divorced Barbie for £265.99”.
The amazed farther asks, “It’s what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie £265.99 and the others £19.95?”. The annoyed sales person rolled her eyes, sighs and answers “Sir.... the Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s Car, Ken’s House, Ken’s Furniture, Ken’s Boat, Ken’s Computer and one of Ken’s friends and a key chain made from Ken’s Balls.”
TTFN
Robin
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Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene
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Dippydog
Regular
Location: Aberdeenshire
Joined: 02 Apr 2012
Posts: 53
Age: 51
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Thu 10 May 12 21:45
Re: Jokes - May 2012 
Dogs Welcome"
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in he planned to visit on his vacation.
He wrote: I would very much like to bring my dogs with me. They are well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep them in my room with me at night?"
An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who wrote:
SIR: "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dogs will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."
TTFN
Rob
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Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene
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TRMUN8R
Club Member
Location: Sheffield
Joined: 25 Jun 2010
Posts: 100
Age: 44
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Fri 11 May 12 13:02
Re: Jokes - May 2012
The judge says to a double-homicide defendant, "You're charged with beating your wife to death with a hammer."
A voice at the back of the courtroom yells out, "You bastard!"
The judge says, "You're also charged with beating your mother-in-law to death with a hammer."
The voice in the back of the courtroom yells out, "You rotten bastard!"
The judge stops and says to the guy in the back of the courtroom,
Sir, I can understand your anger and frustration at these crimes, but no more outbursts from you, or I'll charge you with contempt. Is that understood?"
The man in the back of the court stands up and says,
"I'm sorry, Your Honour, but for fifteen years, I've lived next door to that asshole, and every time I asked to borrow a hammer, he said he didn't have one.
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'75 Big Wheel - Big Arch - Big Block - California License TRMUN8R
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derock
Club Member
Rattle and Hum
Location: Stevenage
Joined: 12 Jul 2004
Posts: 157
Age: 56
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Sat 12 May 12 23:59
Re: Jokes - May 2012
Not a joke but worth a look
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WDxrfEeRYAk&feature=youtube_g...
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Blackadder
Regional Rep
Location: Kent
Joined: 21 Nov 2004
Posts: 883
Age: 66
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Sat 19 May 12 19:09
Re: Jokes - May 2012. Whats this car ??
Hi Guys, anyone out there know what this featured car is ??
I sort of lost my train of thought halfway through the clip !!!
http://player.vimeo.com/video/31515908?autoplay=1
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If you are apt to get a "stiffy" looking at a hybrid. You are probably on the wrong website
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Blackadder
Regional Rep
Location: Kent
Joined: 21 Nov 2004
Posts: 883
Age: 66
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Mon 21 May 12 11:25
Re: Jokes - May 2012
A group of primary school infants, accompanied by two female teachers, went on a field trip to Cheltenham racecourse to see and learn about thoroughbred horses.
When it was time to take the children to the toilet, it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.
The teacher assigned to the boys was waiting outside the men's toilet when one of the boys came out and told her that none of them could reach the urinal..
Having no choice, she went inside, helped the boys with their underpants, and began hoisting the boys up, one by one, holding their willies to direct the flow away from their clothes.
As she lifted one, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well endowed. Trying not to show that she was staring, the teacher said, 'You must be in year four.'
"No, love, “he replied. "I'm riding Silver Arrow in the 2.15
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If you are apt to get a "stiffy" looking at a hybrid. You are probably on the wrong website
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