Where has all the Humour Gone?

Daytona Vette

CCCUK regional rep
A man was very fond of his new Corvette. So, he invited a Rabbi, a Priest, and a Pastor to come and bless it.

The Priest sprinkled the Vette with holy water and chanted in Latin, the Pastor invoked the name of God and led everyone into silent prayer, and the Rabbi sang a hymn and cut off the tips of the Vette's tailpipes.
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Daytona Vette

CCCUK regional rep
True Happenings
"How did you get that Vette?"
"!I won it playing Poole - do you want a game?"

At the Lights
"Bet that doesn't do much to the gallon"
"Want to see two gallons" ...Accelerate away.........

Lady of ill repute standing at the junction
"Business Love?"
"No thank you"
"I thought not in a car like that - you are just posing"
"If I am posing what are you doing?"
"I am earning a living"
"I have earned mine that is why I am driving this" ...Accelerate off

An Asian gentleman with his Family at a Show
"I love your car - I will give you my wife and two daughters for it"
"Sorry no"
"and my son and that Lady over there"
"still no"
as Man turns and walks off..
"You will need to come back with a better offer"
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CCCUK Member
An airline captain was breaking in a new stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"
The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"